Our new priest tells his life story, the path towards ordination, and – ultimately – this parish.
I was born in 1961 in the Greater Birmingham area, at Sutton Coldfield – I was 60 this year. When I was six we moved to Derbyshire, on the edge of Sheffield.
At school I loved English and the Humanities, and so I read English at Liverpool University. But after my degree I had no real sense of what I wanted to do with my life.
Although religion had played a large part in my childhood – my family were Anglican and very involved in our local parish – I stopped going to church in my late teens, in common with many people at that age. But I knew that I wanted to work with people, to give service, do something pastoral, so I went to London and took up a voluntary position working with the homeless and with addicts. Social work beckoned, but there were not enough placements available so when I saw an advertisement for psychiatric nursing I applied.
Nursing
I was accepted, and in 1985 went to train at Warley Hospital in Brentwood, where I stayed for two years after qualification.
Then things in my life fell apart – a relationship, work, where I was living. Everything was negative, loss. Faith had become important again in my life, and I wanted to take my faith more seriously. I had been working with the suffering of others, but now I was encountering my own suffering. I’d become interested in the work of Mother Teresa in Calcutta, after watching a documentary made in the 1980s (‘Mother Teresa’ by Ann and Jeanette Petrie) and I started to work with the Missionaries of Charity in north London.
Calcutta and Mother Teresa
In 1990, aged 29, I went to Calcutta, although I knew it is not necessary to go round the world to encounter pain and suffering. This was more about my own formation – it gave me an opportunity to serve and to learn. By now I was becoming interested in the Catholic faith.
Back in London I started an MA in philosophy and religion at King’s College, but within weeks I became very unwell, and was diagnosed with pulmonary tuberculosis. When I had gone to India I had been very run down, so my immune system was low, and I was susceptible to disease. I was in hospital for a month, and in pain with fluid-filled lungs. I read the writings of St Thérèse de Lisieux, and felt very close to her inasmuch she had died of TB.
Conversion to Roman Catholicism
When I came out of hospital I worked in agency nursing, but I wanted to go back to India. In 1991 I stayed six months in Calcutta. I had long talks with the Jesuit Chaplain to volunteers, as by now I had a strong sense that I should investigate becoming a Catholic, though it wasn’t that I was unhappy with the Anglican Church. It was an intensive period of instruction. It became clear I should be received into the Church. I rang my parents, who were still Anglican, to tell them. I was received in November 1991.
I returned to England in January 1992, to nursing – caring in the community for drug users and those with HIV/AIDS. I also continued working with the Missionaries of Charity in north London. I had learned to say the Rosary, and that has been important to me, and I also said the daily Office. I was very fervent!
The Carmelites
In the year 1997 I moved to Kent. Although my life was positive I wasn’t sure of where I was going, and for some years I often felt downhearted. I hit a crisis around 2005: what to do with the rest of my life? Providence stepped in, and I discovered Aylesford Priory, home to the Carmelite Friars, was close by. I had spiritual direction from Sr Elizabeth Obbard, a solitary who lived alongside the community there, which helped me focus and see that God was not yet at the centre of my life. After a long period of discernment I applied to the Order of Carmelites, and joined them in 2007. I stayed four and a half years, but came to understand I was not suited to the religious life. I was still only in temporary vows. I left in 2011.
To East Anglia
It is a common experience to feel oneself at a fork in the road, and it is easy to stand and wait there. I went to live for a while with the Community of Our Lady of Walsingham, as they have a culture of seeking vocation, but at the same time I was still working in the NHS.
People were saying to me, “Why not the priesthood?” At first I was very unenthusiastic but the idea would not go away. After all, my life experiences had led me to dealing with many of the situations encountered by priests.
I had long had a spiritual link with East Anglia through my devotion to Our Lady of Walsingham, and decided to move here, to Dereham. I found a place to live and a job immediately afterwards, working with Social Services in Norfolk. I talked with the parish priest in Dereham, and also the Director of Vocations in the diocese. It’s all a very complex procedure, but by now the desire had become powerful; it was a step I wanted to take.
The priesthood
In 2015 – relief and joy – my application was accepted by Bishop Alan. I moved into St Mark’s in Ipswich with Fr Christopher Smith as a base for my time in England, and then in September of that year (the Year of Mercy), went to the Pontifical Beda College in Rome, where older men study for the priesthood. I was one of three seminarians from East Anglia. Older men typically complete four years of formation (as opposed to six or more for younger men): it’s a difficult time requiring the kind of energy and focus of much younger people, but was a wonderful time even so.
I had already completed a degree in theology with the Carmelites, and was therefore able to work at an online degree in moral theology (specialising in bioethics). My thesis was on the theology of mental illness and culpability, detailing the ways mental disorder is explained in the terminology of the Church. I finished this degree in April 2019. There was also of course formation in liturgy, scripture and the practical skills required for ordained ministry, and input regarding the psycho-social dimension of priesthood. I was very tired after four years of training.
There’s always a fear of failure, or less melodramatically, a fear that despite all the hard work, one may yet not receive final recommendation for ordination. But I believe God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called. I still ask Him, “Help me be the best Christian I can, and show me where I should be.” Vocation is not a one-off, a single decision. it’s a process, to be followed each day, always ongoing.
Ordination
In July 2019 five men were ordained in this diocese. I was told I was to be assigned to Bury St Edmunds, as assistant to Fr David Bagstaff, who has the joint responsibilities of parish priest there as well as being Vicar General of the diocese.
After a few months Covid struck. All home visiting was cancelled, although our emergency work continued, often in hospitals in full, heavy PPE. But new ways of working emerged. I have enjoyed my time in Bury, despite Covid, and am sorry to leave.
The call to Bungay
One day the Bishop called me to see him. I wondered what I’d done wrong! I was very surprised to be asked to move to Bungay as priest administrator, inasmuch as there were several other candidates who might have taken the position. I was excited at the prospect, but it is daunting as I’m aware of my limitations. I want to facilitate and encourage people in their own vocations, especially the laity who are often best placed to lead in many initiatives within the parish that belongs to them.
I have moved a great deal in my life, and not just geographically. Right now I am very happy and enthusiastic about the future.